Daddy-Son Connection

It’s nothing amazing when Nathaniel cries for Mommy. When I leave him in the bouncer or exersaucer so that I can do my chores around the house, Nathaniel simply has to see me walking away from him before he begins to cry—even if it’s just a few seconds.

Last night, however, was the first time I ever saw Nathaniel cry for Daddy. It was a very touching moment.

Lee had to work a little later than usual. Nathaniel’s bedtime was supposed to be 7:00 p.m., but I tried to keep him awake so that he’d, at the least, see Daddy before going to bed. Nathaniel and I sat together in his bedroom. I was relieved to hear the garage door opening and minutes later Lee coming up the stairs into Nathaniel’s bedroom. At the first sight of Daddy, Nathaniel squealed and kicked his legs. Lee held Nathaniel in his arms and hoisted him in the air as he always does (Lee likes to do things I can’t do with the baby). Ten minutes later, I say, “Time to sleep.”

I sit down to feed Nathaniel, but oddly, he rejects me, turning his head around and reaching out into the space ahead of him. I try a few times to get him to feed, but he rejects me again. Then he begins to cry. Perplexed by this uncharacteristic behavior, I call Lee to come back into Nathaniel’s bedroom.

“I think he wants you…” I say to the husband. “Let’s put this to the test. Sit down beside me.” Lee sits down (I normally tell Lee to leave the room when I feed Nathaniel before bedtime so that Nathaniel doesn’t confuse bedtime with playtime). At once, Nathaniel begins to feed, then turns around every ten seconds or so to check that Daddy is still there. When Nathaniel is done feeding, I put him in the crib, but his hands reach out toward the door, as if wanting Daddy to come back.

Since Nathaniel’s birth, he’s always had an intimate connection with Mommy, of course. Lee always tries to mimic my interactions with Nathaniel when attempting to pacify his crying, but in the end, it’s always Mommy he wants. I console Lee every time: “He needs me, and he wants you.”

It was nice that this was not the case last night. Nathaniel’s expressing what he wanted last night and the happiness this brought the husband was a moment definitely worth recording.