Motherhood: Relinquishing Pride

When I was young, I recall on numerous occasions when my mom would sit around our kitchen table with other mothers. It wasn’t uncommon for mothers to casually discuss the accomplishments of their children, be it their grades, how well they were doing in piano, or whatnot. Overhearing their conversation, I would wonder why my mom never joined in on the conversation. We, her children, had achieved similar accomplishments—how come she didn’t partake in the dialogue in which parents were showing how proud they were of their children?

Then, when I grew older, my mom shared about how she felt during these moments—how she was resolved not to “show off” her children like other parents did. My mom never believed in playing favorites among me, my sister, and my brother, nor did she believe in playing the game that many other parents were playing when it came to seeing whose child shone the best when it came to awards, talents, and academic standing.

As a mother of an eleventh-month-old baby, I am already beginning to witness how easy it is to become overly proud of my baby. Sometimes, the temptation is very subtle and if one isn’t careful, one might not even realize the danger in it. Many times, the friends, family, and strangers who interact with mother-child do so with the most thoughtful of intentions. What harm can there be when a sweet, lovable, innocent baby is the object of everyone’s affections?

At church, at the grocery store, in social gatherings—I hear people’s praise of the baby almost on a weekly basis. And that’s great. Praise on. (It’s a great encouragement to me, of course!)

He is so cute.

It’s good that he can do __________. [insert baby skill]

He’s so well-behaved.

You’re feeding him well.

I am beginning to notice it more and more as Nathaniel is approaching his first birthday—as he is gradually becoming his own.

Nathaniel is eleven-months-old as of this week and he has yet to begin crawling. But at this age, many people, though often for pure conversation’s sake, ask about what Nathaniel can do. And sometimes, I catch myself giving a reason as to why Nathaniel can’t do a certain thing, when, in reality, I really do not owe anyone a reason. It means nothing whether I give a reason or not.

It made me realize how much a child can be a source of pride—when he or she shouldn’t be—because ultimately—Nathaniel is a gift from God. My only goal is to raise him so that he knows who his God is and so whom he is to please.

Yet so often, we, parents, try to please—or impress—everyone else. Whether it’s how we dress our child, or when we teach our child new skills, we want others to witness our child’s beauty or endowments. And though, many times, our desires may be sincere—we have to be careful that we don’t go too far. Humility is hard to come by, but it becomes easier when we realize that every facet of our child’s being is from God and God alone.

When our family is at home spending time with Nathaniel, all we do is enjoy our time with him. Nathaniel is very often all smiles, sitting in his play area, exploring his toys, talking to himself, once in a while looking over to Mommy or Daddy’s direction to elicit a smile, and when we smile, he almost always smiles back. Alone in our household, Nathaniel just has to be his delightful, adorable little self—and we, his parents, are happy.

As I think back to my childhood days of my mom’s restraint when it came to parading her children— whom she loved and was proud of—before others, I am grateful that I have an example to follow.


(I’ve been meaning to blog on this subject for a while, but decided to do so today because I came across this article while surfing: http://www.focusonthefamily.ca/parenting/motherhood/my-baby-is-better-than-your-baby )