It seems like every Puritan and Evangelical Spirituality class I attend inspires me in some way. Last night’s lecture was an introduction to Jonathan Edwards (1703-1758). Edwards’ belief was that the heart of society is the family: if the family goes, society goes. Christian piety, then, begins in the home.
The professor went on to scratch the surface of Edwards’ marriage and the upbringing of his children—how his strong and godly wife created an environment in the home that enabled Edwards to spend his life pursuing the activities of God (as we learned earlier from Richard Baxter—marriage was one of the most important aspects of his life, as it was part of the sanctifying process). Samuel Hopkins, who studied under Edwards and also lived with his family for one and a half years (and therefore observed his life through an intimate lens), was the first to write a biography on Edwards; briefly mentioned in lecture was the observation that his children were all very well-behaved.
Looking at the disintegrating values of today’s family can be disheartening at times—even among Christian circles. In the days of the Puritans, spirituality began in the home. In J. I. Packer’s A Quest for Godliness, A Puritan Vision of the Godly Life, he writes about the Lord’s Day from the perspective of the Puritans: “The family must function as a religious unit on the Lord’s Day… The head of the house must conduct family prayers twice a week, take the family to church, and examine and catechize the children and servants afterwards to make sure that they had thoroughly absorbed the sermon. The principle here is that the man of the house has an inalienable responsibility to care for the souls of the household, and that it is on the Lord’s Day supremely that he must exercise it.”
On my wedding day, at the reception, I had delivered a short speech to each of my family members. I had said to my parents, genuinely and with more emotion than they might have witnessed, that their greatest gift to me was my faith in God. The times they had spent nurturing, praying, training, and disciplining me (sometimes, in the early teenage years, against my will) in living out the Word of God has been instrumental to who I am now.
Now that my sister is a mother of two, I see the fruits of our parents’ labour and love passed on to the next generation. I have had the privilege of praying with my sister and her two-year-old before bedtime only a few times, and my heart softens whenever I see this little girl learning from her mom how to thank the Lord for the good things that take place in her life every day. When I had cracked my teeth against the door a couple of weeks ago, upon hearing the news from her mother, my niece, had, for the first time, gone off on her own without the prompting of her mom to pray to God for my healing. How beautiful, how miraculous, how hopeful it is to see the Spirit working in even the little ones. Which calls to mind the verse in Matthew 19:14: “Jesus said, ‘Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”
Yet it takes hard work, perseverance, and godly devotion to raise children in this way. To not merely shelter them from the corruption and suffering of the world, but to teach them about the good—so that, one day, they can go out into the world and share the goodness—just as God has instructed us to do.
My sister, mother of two, is tired much of the time. Sometimes, when I’m exhausted from my constant study and paper-writing, I think of all my mother-friends as a consolation (at least the computer doesn’t scream, cry, or rebel at you). At the same time, I stand back in awe at the immense love and godliness that abounds in my sister’s household. When you speak to her or her family, you realize that they are a family that seeks faithfully not to conform to the ways of this world (how many of us live Christian lives to the extent that the faith benefits us, comforts us, revives us, but not others?). Even with the little time that they have, their door is always open, ready to demonstrate to those in need the saving, sweet reality of Jesus Christ.
And when I begin to witness these values manifested in the lives of their two girls, I think about what Edwards teaches about the values of family and its lasting impact on the world around us, and I have to remind myself what a serious role I have, now that I'm a wife, and in the future, God willing, that I become a mother.
Here are a few more moving snapshots:
My two-year-old niece can now pray the Lord’s Prayer-and can even put her own spin on some of the verses to personalize them.
At dinner last week, my niece was eating a biscuit her mom had given her; then she had asked, “Is there more Mommy?” And my sister had said, “No, you took the only one.” And upon hearing that, she had extended her arm out to my husband, and said, “Yee cheung (uncle), you want it?” Inside me, I saw this in the child: that wanting more and discovering that there was none left, her instinctive action was to give the last of it to someone else.
Yes, piety begins in the home.
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